February 2, 2015 "This week I was humbled"

this week has been an interesting week for me and I guess I could say that I was humbled.  For the past week or so I just was not feeling right.  I was feeling the spirit but not as strongly as I usually do and it was killing me... I could not figure what was wrong with me!! I was falling asleep at 2 in the morning for countless nights just trying to figure out why I was so down.  Then one morning I was in personal study and I realized that my studies have been lacking.  Of course I did the hour of study everyday but I didn't do it with the diligence that I usually do. So I started to change that and made sure that I was staying focused and studying for my investigators.  

Then I was out tracting and we had nothing to do... it was super hot.... No one wanted to talk to us.... and I realized at that moment I was putting myself before anything and the scripture from Helaman 5 came to my mind that talks about how we must have Christ as our foundation.  Then I realized that I was even putting myself over Jesus Christ.  I felt even sick that I was only thinking about myself and that I was getting in the way of missionary work... I knew that I had some repenting to do so right there while I was walking I did and I instantly I felt like myself again and I am back to normal!  Over the course of my mission I can say that I have had 3 weeks total where I haven't been happy or that I haven't felt the spirit and it all directs itself back to selfishness.  It was a valuable lesson that I learned this week and as dad says, I did have to learn in the hard way but I was glad I was able to humble myself...

So for our investigators. We have Freddy who is 24.  He is amazing but yet he is still doubting his faith...  He has grown up watching pastors on tv perform their "miracles" and he doesn't get how they are not called of God.  We honestly have tried every way possible to help him but god cannot give us an answer unless we have that desire to know and the humility to act upon the answer he gives us.

Also we have Okopilwe who is 27.  He is the guy that went to institute and loved it then came to church the next day.  He is also cool and he is more willing to act upon what we tell him and to find out if it will be true!! We just worry because he lives with 6 dudes and you can tell it is just a crazy party house.... but I think the gospel will really help him! 

We have this other guy that came to church once and we have met with only once named Lunga.  He is the one that wanted to come to church to change his life... I think it is going to take sometime because habits are hard to break but again the atonement is exactly what he needs! 

Also I hope that my spelling and grammer is getting better...  It is hard here because people have horrible English and so I have lowered my standards in that sense.  However I will work on it!! I don't want my English teacher to laugh at my first paper when I get home! 

Elder olson

(We just need to teach him to capitalize his own name)